Fuzzy head more melancholic gloom

I’ve been neglecting you Mr Blog I realise that. The thing is the stuff that has been in my head recently I haven’t really wanted to share with anyone. I will just get a few things off my mind though but may delete the post next time I log on.

I went round to Mers place a couple of weekends ago, she is so upset not just for my mum but because me and my dad have to go through it again. She kept telling me how fucking unfair everything is. I know! It is unfair that this should be happening again and the ludicrous irony that it’s the same disease that killed my brother. Would I feel better if it was something else? I don’t know but I think it may be in the end. After years of having heart problems and being on a low cholesterol diet my mum not surprisingly doesn’t give a shit anymore what she eats. Cheese, bacon, chocolate and cider. All her favourite things. I hope her ticker just gives up on her, I want her to go quickly and not linger.

Then I just have the task of filling her size 4’s. Fuck! I’m not cut out to be like her. Tough yet one of the most kind hearted people you will ever meet. Often terrifying to the stranger but will give people love that never expect it. So many waifs and stray have been under her wing I’ve lost count.