I love the NHS

How dare you diss the NHS!!!! You don’t even freaking live here and have therefore have never experienced it so how on Earth can you possibly have an opinion. It’s not Socialist it’s not Victorian, (although some of the hospitals are but who cares about that, they knew how to build much better than we do now). Just because Cuba has an NHS doesn’t mean you can’t have one too. Health care for the poor how can you possibly object to that. People who don’t have the money to pay into health schemes but have the misfortune of becoming ill. Have some responsibility.

Sure the NHS is overstretched due to our growing and aging population, we have an obesity problem and a drinking problem as a nation. There is a cash flow problem because we seem to be ploughing money into stupid wars. You may have to wait a while for ops that aren’t urgent, or in the case of Herefordshire you may have to travel great distances to receive care BUT!! Care is what you receive. If you have the luck that my family has had living in a country that doesn’t have an NHS we would have been bankrupt. My brother was in theatre at QE in Brum within 2 HOURS of being diagnosed with a tumour having brain surgery and they didn’t even do a credit check on us. Come here and tell me that we aren’t lucky. The acute care in this country is some of the best in the world. Oh and ambulances, we call them they come and take us to hospital and we don’t have to pay for it!! We fall down a hill and break our leg they send a helicopter! We don’t get service with a smile, (but we wouldn’t like that as we are British it makes us uneasy) we just get what we need.

Besides, I wouldn’t be able to get private medical insurance, I am now ‘uninsurable’, (yeah thanks for that as if my freaking stressing isn’t bad enough about the head thing without insurance companies ganging up on me too)
Oh and the matriarch worked for the NHS for over 25 years, you diss them she’ll come back and get you.

More excertions

It is so nice to have a few days off. It’s almost like a holiday which is what we both needed after the disastrous trip to Cornwall. Obviously after Cornwall I ended up having 2 weeks off what with my leave followed by compassionate leave but it certainly wasn’t like a holiday! So far this long weekend I have climbed a Welsh Mountain, had some mates around for dinner, ran a 10km and tomorrow I go to the Ashes.

Chris and Lynn stayed last night along with their dog Kale. Bob and Chris went to the Ashes today and Lynn was nipping off to collect some chickens. I cooked us a big lasagne, (I really have inherited my mum’s ‘must feed people’ gene) then Lynn booted up her lap top and showed us the pics of our wedding which we had actually seen before but it was so nice seeing my family still almost intact. Roy was still there and so was my mum. That day was perfect, I wish I could go back and relive it just once. Obviously there was still one missing, my big bro not there forever leaving an aching void in my heart. I miss you more than ever at the moment Steve although I do wonder how you would have coped with this. I remember the look on your face when mum had her first ’stroke’. What we realise now was probably the start of the seizures accompanying her very own brain tumour. You were so poorly and you looked into my eyes and said you were terrified that we had lost her. Well we have and now she lies with you forever in your quiet little corner of Weobley. Sorry this was meant to be a happy post about me enjoying a weekend without getting rat arsed and making inappropriate comments about death. Just ignore me, I’m just a bit odd at the moment. I think I may feel that dark place calling me but I’m ignoring it. I am so worried about K at the moment, (I suspect this is the cause of the slight insanity) I am just wishing my time away waiting for him to return. Shh now Jackie, talk sense.

So off Lynn took Bob and Chris to the cricket and went in search of chickens. I drove to Tenbury and did the 10km. I did it last year too and managed to get virtually the same time which is a little disappointing. There is a crazy hill half way round which I beat which is pretty amazing given my preparation, (walking up a welsh mountain 2 days previously and drinking too much the night before).

Chris and Bob will be back soon, (and I’m assuming Lynn also) so another evening of a few vinos and maybe some pizza. Then the last day of the 2nd Test tomorrow. Woo hoo.

Conquering Cadair

Bob and I are having a long weekend. This morning we got up at my usual time for a week day, (6.10am), threw some stuff together and drove into Wales. The roads were so quiet it was a pleasure just cruising around, we continued west into Snowdonia National park and parked up at the base of Cadair Idris just before 10. As a little tangent and a bit of mythology, Cadair Idris means the chair of Idris. Idris was a giant in Welsh mythology who used apparently used Cadair Idris as a giant armchair, well it must be quite difficult finding furniture if you’re massive so why not use a nice armchair shaped mountain.

The sun was trying to shine so we made sure we packed our sun hats and headed off to conquer. Bob and I had both climbed part of this old hill before on the annual geography field trip in the first year at Worcester uni, (different years you understand). But in both cases we only got as far as the Corrie Lake or to use the welsh word Cwm, (tee hee) which isn’t really trying in the grand scheme of things. We headed up the steep steps and got up to the Corrie lake, (Lyn Cau) quite rapidly admiring the possible Roche Mountainee or is it a Terminal Moraine, (the former in this case)sticking out with its impressing striations, (ok that’s enough of the geography speak I promise).

We headed left and up the side of the Corrie itself, phew it was steep. We scrambled up the last part of the first peak and gazed down at the Corrie lake hundreds of metres below us. The wind was skidding across the surface making big swirling patterns. Onwards we trudged following the peak around the back of the arm chair shaped corrie. It was tougher than we thought and the sky started to look quite ominous. We scrambled up the biggest peak, Penygadair (top of the chair). Suddenly loads of people appeared from nowhere as a load of paths converged at the top the others having come up from Barmouth direction via a different Corrie Lake. The wind whipped around us sending people off balance making our stay at the peak quite brief, 893 metres done! We stumbled down the remaining side of the armchair suddenly on our own again. The wind buffeted us around and it started to rain a bit, we made quite rapid progress to start with across quite a flat plateau. Then the serious stuff started again and we had to try and negotiate a steep slope of loose rocks. It was very slow going especially as by this point we were both suffering from shaky leg syndrome. At last we saw the car park and the ground flattened out.

We congratulated ourselves and decided to head off to Towyn so Bob could relive his childhood. After a hasty snack by the sea front we headed off, (there really aint much to see). We drove up the road to Aberdovey which was much more picturesque but a lot busier. Now the original plan had been to camp the night in North Wales before driving back home on Saturday morning. The weather had closed in and I’m a crap camper so we decided maybe to get a room in a pub instead. This idea soon dissolved as it really was a waste on money so we drove home instead, (via the chippy). I’m absolutely knackered now but in a good way. Lie tomorrow me thinks.

This and that

I’m quite unable to construct an amusing story about goings on recently so I’ll just use a load of twitteresque style titbits. Here is what I have been thinking, you may detect some anger in some parts.

Where’s Bob? He should be home by now.

Fucking rain, why does it always chuck it down when I am on Severn duty?

Keep your fucking running advice to yourself you fat cunt! You are lucky I had just set out on my run as my sense of humour diminishes yet further the longer I have been running. Oh and by the way if I did indeed heed your advice and “get those legs up” I would be wasting precious energy. (I apologise for the use of the C word)

Media = Rubbish

I wonder how Spex and Dev’s walk is going?

OH my god! Have politicians got more annoying or is it just me! Will you just shut up and stop bickering like school children and actually make some decent decisions for once in your lives. What the hell do we pay your wages for, i could run the country better than you!

Oh yeah, I haven’t got a mum anymore, I’d forgot.

Are you pregnant? I think you might be.

Stop looking at me you twat!

I shouldn’t have that next glass of vino but I’m going to anyway.

Oh no! No more David Duchovny on a Thursday night. He got better with age but I sense he has peaked now. I still would though.

So we are meant to believe you Mr Brown when you tell us that there are enough helicopters in Afghanistan and not some chaps that are in the army and have served out there. Sorry but your a lying git who is just desperately trying to save his own skin.

Ooh the sun’s out.

Please stay safe.

The end

I just about feel ok to talk about ’stuff’ now but I’m not sure I want to share it one here. I’m not going into great detail as it is a very personal thing.
My mum died of clots on her lungs caused by her having to stop taking asprin for her heart condition because of her brain tumour. Her death certificate proved what a very poorly lady she was even before the cancer was diagnosed.
Her funeral was last Saturday, my birthday, (i’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, shit happens on my birthday). The church was full and the service was beautiful, thank you Reb Bob. My dad held it together and I was as fearless as I could be. Kev was back from A’stan, originally to visit my mum but it turns out he would be helping carry her into the church. We still went out to a hotel in Crickhowel afterwards and celebrated her life and my birthday, (and Ollies birthday), my dad came too. Originally they weren’t going to come as my mum was not liking long car journeys. After the event I managed to persuade him to come. We all got rather tipsy but it was lovely.

I’m off out to get pissed and talk about death. I apologise in advance to any of my friends who happen to be there. Just humour me.
I won’t be posting anymore about this any time soon. There are a few things I have to deal with and sharing them on here may not be such a good idea as i don’t want people worrying.

Having a rant at the sky

This freaking rain is really starting to fuck me off!!
Why is it always at home time so I can’t go for a run?!!! Doesn’t the weather understand at the moment I need to run more than ever or I really will just fall apart?

And another thing. If Bob and I had a change of heart and had child it would have no grandmothers, how odd is that? Eddie Izzard was wrong, “I am a gran I live forever” it’s just not true.

Looming darkness.

It’s a week since the world got a little darker. I think I might still be in shock. I’m now back in Worcester for a couple of days before the funeral on Saturday, (my birthday!!). After being at home with my dad for the last few days I have had to break the news to various people ringing up and had to comfort them as they cried. Also members of the family and friends have been turning up at the house, hugging me sobbing and wanting to talk about how special my mum was. That’s another thing, i really can’t get used to referring to her in the past tense. It’s been emotional but I think I have dealt with it the same way that she would. Don’t be sad that she has gone be happy that you ever knew her. She touched so many peoples lives, the world has lost a good soul.

Shining light

There is another star in the sky shining tonight, look for it, it’ll be the brightest star you have ever seen. So the matriarch has gone, she went so fast in the end that nobody was with her when it happened. Don’t be sad she wouldn’t have wanted any of that death bed nonsense best just to make her own way with nobody around to fuss or to cry. The nurses said it was like a light going out and what a light. The light in so many peoples lives, especially those that had never had anybody special to look after them.

Bless you Freda, sleep peaceful now give Steve and Roy a hug from me. If I can be half the woman you were then I will very proud.

The blues

I might start singing the blues, of course I should be black and a man and 40 years older and live in the southern states of USA and be able to play the guitar and/or harmonica and own a rocking chair. Apart from the I reckon I am blues material.

2 weddings and a phonecall

I’m not feeling very artculate so I’ll keep this to a minimum but might come back to it later to add some more.

Bob and I had Chris and Lynnes wedding on Friday followed by Rich and Lauras on Saturday. Bob was an usher at both so it’s been a bit of a hectic weekend. Coupled with me being a bit dodgy and chucking up lots, (still not right now but at least I’ve lost some weight!). Both weddings were lovely and very emotional which I think took it’s toll on me especially Friday night. We had to rush down from near Llangollen to Bromsgrove on Saturday morning and Bob got changed into his ushers suit in the churchyard! I didn’t go to the service as I thought it might be bad form to throw up on the brides dress.

And today is fathers day so I went to my parents whilst Bob went off to see his dad. My mum told me the genetisist, (sp??) will be in contact with me soon to get me booked in for some tests. I think this will just be a blood test and a possible scan. I’m not sure what to expect, the study is ongoing and all that but I keep getting told this is NOT a hereditary condition. I’m assuming i will have to wait for the study to finish before they’ll know anything in particular and then maybe they’ll be able to tell me what I should do. Unless of course they do find something…. can’t wait!