Oh Yoshimi……

I had a bit of a crazy couple of days at works at the end of last week. The weather was looking particularly awful for the weekend especially on the south coast. Oh joy of joys that was indeed where I was off to. I wrote a couple of emails to my friends resident at the south coast and also to my dad who was going away to Torquay for the weekend telling them all to wear their heavy shoes. I took a half day Friday and escaped the mounting chaos of the flood forecasters. The rain decided it would accompany me all the way down to Pompey but did not fall quite so intensely as I was expecting. I arrived nice and early, Spex had also left work early so we lounged about for a bit. H then arrived after an 11 day stint at work, oh my god the poor thing. Spex rustled up some grub whilst we planned logistics. It was decided we would enter Pompey via public transport as that would be the last thing ‘they’ would be expecting, take them by surprise that’s what I say. We arrived close to the Guild Hall and piled through the door straight to the bar. This bar sold 2 pint glasses which Spex decided to partake in, luckily for him he didn’t have to order it at the bar, the guy behind me just said my word, you’ll need two hands for that! How rude!! Hannah and I decided against such excessiveness. The outcome was Spex looking Like Merry and Pippin in Lord of the rings when they find out that it does indeed come in pints.

It comes in pints!!

We wandered in and saw the support, Star Death and White Dwarfs, (shouldn’t that be dwarves?). Which is indeed an odd name for a band. A white dwarf is the final evolutionary stage of a quite small but dense star. It doesn’t have any fission going on anymore so the luminosity is caused by just thermal energy. This will fade over time and leave a black dwarf so a white dwarf is on the way to being a dead star, (which is incidentally a fabulous song by Muse: You used to be everything to me, now you’re tired of fighting….. apparently about the relationship between the British Government and George Bush) Woah there, tangent city, my head is completely full of coherent thoughts again. I need to empty them out to make room for more. It’s like in the last 2 years my head has been storing all the stuff it would have been thinking about normally and has picked now to let it all come flooding into consciousness. So you must excuse my excessive randomness.

So anyway, Star Death and White Dwarfs were really good, quite seventies and funky. They were really digging the fake smoke. A little too much it turned out as about 5 songs into their set I saw a dude in a high vis vest run across the front of the crowd and start talking to the lead singer. How rude I thought. The lead singer stopped and that’s when we all became aware of the fire alarm going off. Ooh dear, we all wandered out into the crazy wind outside and finished our drinks, luckily it wasn’t raining. After about 15 minutes we traipsed back in and the support apologised profusely before continuing. They finished with a cover which just sounded so strangely familiar, the suddenly it dawned on me. It was freaking Borderline by Madonna. Oh my god, how infinitely better than the original.

The good thing about our little excursion outside was that we didn’t have to wait long for the main event…ladies and gentlemen may I introduce The Flaming Lips, complete with big dancing rabbits at the side of the stage just like they are famous for. Unfortunately Justin Timberlake wasn’t amongst them. Now I can’t remember how long I have loved the Flaming Lips for. Not full on Oh my god they are my favourite band type love but they have certainly written one of my favourite songs ever. Yoshimi is in my top 10 songs. I also love that they are a bit out there, a bit kooky, some may say a bit like me.

So Wayne Coyne comes on the stage and gives a kind of safety announcement before getting into a giant zorb and crowd surfing, hahahahaha. He disappears off before confetti cannons cover the smiling laughing crowd in confetti and streamers. Giant balloons appear and the crowd get to bash them around as Mr Coyne sheds his zorb and starts singing. They were just amazing, I can’t actually articulate how immensely awesome were. The crowd were great too, no animosity no baying for space. People were shaking hands and singing with complete strangers, it may have had something to do with the 2 pint glasses but I just think it was the unbelievable happiness their music produces. Spex has put together a play list so there you go. At the end of the main set they went off to rapturous applause, we cheered and stamped and sure enough Mr Coyne re-entered the stage. Unfortunately it was to tell us that two people, including one of the giant dancing rabbits had not liked the strobes in the last song and the dancer was actually at the side of the stage still having some issues. Oh my god how guilty did we feel for cheering them back onto the stage. He just asked us to stay chilled and quiet for a bit until they knew everything was ok. After about 5 minutes they retook the stage and played do you realise. Woo hoo!! So maybe it was the little incidents that added to it. H had mentioned outside this is how great nights start and she was right.

In the taxi home we discussed how legendary it had been, we all agreed up there possibly the best gig ever and given how many gigs those two have been to that is indeed an immense compliment. We chatted into the early hours hearing the stupid wind picking up outside. Next day we went to the Arthur Conan Doyle exhibition at the museum, yay!! I know this isn’t a particularly feminine author to like but I do so don’t make me fight you. We mooched around other bits of the museum as there was little else to do with the storm raging outside. We took in some ‘art’ and an exhibition about the footy club before leaving. We drove along the sea front, well I say drove, I think we would have continued to move even if Spex had taken his foot off the accelerator, it probably would have been sideways though. It was stupidly wind, later I heard 100 mph gusts were reported which may explain this insaness. We had a nice quiet night on Saturday going out for dinner and then going back chatting and drinking.

On Sunday I drove back in the winter sunshine towards Dorset, I drove past the Lamer Tree Gardens where End of the Road Festival took place and I couldn’t help a smile coming to my lips. Then I arrived at Ebbys for Sunday lunch…there was definitely something wrong I could tell. I didn’t question her but have since found out. What bizarrely parallel lives we live sometimes young lady. Xx. Anyway, lunch was lovely but I was so tired and was desperately trying not to succumb to the lurgy which I could feel attacking me, so I didn’t stay long and don’t really remember much of the drive home. That’s really bad isn’t it? I shall stay longer next time and we shall drink vino and talk about everything in the world.

Right now, time to hjave a good stab at getting rid of this freaking cold. Is it too early for a hot toddy? I believe it may be.

Essex and a bohemian pregnancy

I nipped down to Romford at the weekend. Actually can it be called ‘nipping’ when it takes 3 and a half hours to get there? I have absolutely no idea. Sarah came to pick me up from the station, my goodness that was a shock. She is 8 months pregnant, the whole point of the visit being to see her before baby decides to make an appearance. Last time I saw her and Lisa was on my birthday but the less we say about that the better, let’s just say this was a much happier occasion. She is definitely defying gravity, I have no idea how those things stay in there, surely it can’t be completely down to pelvic floor muscles?

Lisa cooked us dinner and daddy Jazz put in an appearance also. I lounged about on the floor causing trouble whilst being told stories of the unusual bohemian pregnancy, apparently some hospitals just aren’t really happy with 4 parents putting in an appearance during scans etc whereas others don’t mind at all.

Lisa and I got quite merry and talked quite a bit of rubbish. Oh hang on… no that was just me. I do apologise. Actually no I don’t, I think it is just expected of me. We watched a bit of TV whilst I balanced on Sarah’s birthing ball, oh and Tim Minchin was on Jonathan Ross, I love a man in eye makeup. To stop being shallow he is a very talented antipodean and has such an expressionful, (did I make that word up?) face. I wanted to get tickets to see him but he is in Brum this weekend coming and I am otherwise engaged.

I have a vague recollection of going to be quite late but I really couldn’t tell you. Anyway, I slept really well and wandered downstairs about 8.30 to clatter about for a bit and talk to the cat. I watched a bit of Question time on Iplayer but got too cross and had to turn it off before I threw the lap top through the window, as it wasn;t my lap top or indeed my window I thought this may not be a wise plan. Now I could have written an entire blog about QT as would have been the norm back in the regular blogging days but I don’t want to give the BNP any of my time, I’ll just say I hope that is political suicide Mr Griffin. Oh and there is no such thing as an indigenous people in this country. We are all descended from Romans, Angles, ‘Celts’, Picts, Saxons, Vikings and Normans to name just some random invaders from the top of my head. So stop spouting half true’s and disguising them as ‘history’ to people too stupid to realise what you are trying to do you stupid, arrogant racist tosser. So much for not getting cross! I haven’t got that cross about stuff for ages though, it’s like the return of my life force. Sigh.

I was joined by the girlies who managed to calm me down with coffee and a bacon sarnie, (why do people always try and feed me up, oh yes I remember, thanks chicks). The paper arrived and I attempted the crossword. I freaking hate you Times crossword. I swear I’m getting more stupid and you and Jeremy Paxman have been put on this earth to prove it to me. Leave me alone!!!!!!
Sarah and I waddled into town and when we got back Benner and Mer had arrived, yay!! ( By the way Benner, could you send me some of the photographs so I can shove some in?) We waddled off to see Nori and Roger who had a baby boy about 6 weeks previously, oh my god babies everywhere!! Benner got hassled into holding little Kai whereas I managed to busy myself constructing an activity centre type thing for Kai whilst not making eye contact with anybody whilst they were holding the sprog. You see I’m more at home with screwdrivers than babies. We waddled back and more dinner was cooked and wine consumed. Papa Gay turned up and we talked about some really serious shit before I drew a map of Britain on the aforementioned Times, (that’ll teach you for irritating me newspaper, ha feel my geographical ability) to show Gaiton where various places in Britain are. He drew France underneath to show me where he was from, I have to say France was a little out of proportion but good effort. (Geek!) We posed for lots of silly photographs and I do believe I started licking Mer’s arms before telling Ben quite a lot that I was going to sleep with his girlfriend, in a Southern States accent. Yeah, sorry about that. I promise I won’t lick her arms if we go to Paris, (Bimbo really is returning to normal if she is licking and biting people as well as refering to herself in the third person)

Next day I actually did watch the rest of QT and read an article mentioned in it by some other hatemonger about Stephen Gately. My freaking god I hate the Daily Mail. Anyway, shhh before I go off on one again. We all lay on the big sofa bed in the living room reading the paper and watching Sarah’s tummy wriggling about. Then we finally managed to get up properly and headed off in our various directions homewards. Lovely, just lovely. Good luck Sarah, Lisa, Gaiton and Jazz. And thanks Ben and Mer.

End of the Road

That’s it. That’s it that’s it!!! Really that’s it. I’m fed up with it being so freaking gloomy, (my blog). I tried to just ignore it for a while but having the most recent blogs just hanging there being all gloomy and melancholy is just a constant fucking reminder. SO, no more. No more freaking gloom*. Something extra special nice happened this weekend just gone so here goes.

After a right old palaver I drove down to Ebby’s on my own on Thursday night. We stayed up late drinking far too much and talking about stuff which I won’t mention or I’ll be breaking my promise in the first sentence of my story.

She had to go to work the next day so I drove over to Lamer Tree Gardens on my own to the End of the Road festival. I wandered around in a bit of post hangover daze taking in the sights of the stunning setting. I had an Indian head massage which involved also a shoulder rub. The chick told me my stress heads could be caused by my ridiculously tight shoulder muscles, (NB for future reference don’t have an Indian head massage on the first day of a festival unless you want to walk around looking like an oil slick.) At about 3ish the tunes started and I headed over to the garden stage to see Mumfod and Sons before indulging my Scanda love with Loney Dear, a very energetic Swede who is so impossibly talented I can’t even find the words to describe it. His happy tunes bought a smile to my face as being alone I was able to sway and jig around as much as I wanted too. At one point he got us all singing except my side of the crowd decided they were too good to sing for the little fella, well apart from me and he returned his love by blowing kisses at me, well certainly in my mind that’s what he was doing.

I wandered around some more until finally meeting up with Ebby, (that is a long story). We went to get our stuff and bumped into James, (Ebby’s lovely chap) so we all headed off and pitched our tents in a nice quiet corner in an attempt to lessen my insomnia. We saw some more bands, (Dirty Projectors were not good) before I started to get stupidly excited. Explosions in the Sky, oh my god. We swigged vino from a plastic bottle, (have I ever mentioned how utterly classy I am) and I stood there with an inane grin on my stupid face. Just then a huge guy stood in front of me, it always happens. A voice behind me commented saying it always happens to him. I turned and smiled at quite a short dude with a nice smiley face and a bit of a beard then carried on swigging vino and being swayey and cheerful. Then a tap on the shoulder and he asked who these guys were coz they were really good. I said “explosions in the sky!!” a little too enthusiastically and may have got a bit of spit on him. Ebby slurred at him, “do you want some vino I just ate hoummus so it might have garlic backwash.” He smiled and took the vino. (I must just interrupt this blog to say how stunningly pretty the sunset is tonight, the sky has turned lilac to peach to pink and then mauve). We jabbered wholeheartedly for a bit before Ebby and James decided they wanted to see something else and wandered off leaving me with my new friend Pally. My first proper festival friend. He turned out to be a bit of an oddball so that may be why we got along so well. He stayed with me whilst I swayed about some more watching EitS and generally being quite bad company I should imagine. We had a bevvy afterwards at the Somerset Cider bus, (ahhhh the other place). Selling mulled cider at a September festival is a genius idea. We sat and chatted for ages and then got joined by some very drunk girls who amused me a lot.

Next day James had to work so Ebby and I wandered around the site looking at peacocks, (or peatwats as Ebby now calls them) and the outdoor library. We saw Darren Hayman who was rather good and then the Low Anthem. I didn’t know what to expect but the first song had me completely captivated. It was about someone dying of cancer, well that was my interpretation and I can’t freaking find it!! It’s so annoying. Anyway, it was stunning and I had a bit of a moment. At the end of the song Ebby just put her arms around me and told me the song had been written for me. Later in the set it was Ebbys turn to get emotional when a song brought back some nasty memories for her too. We staggered off drained and emotional at the end. We met up with Pally and squeezed our way into the Tipi tent to give me a spot more Scanda love and watch First Aid Kit, two Swedish teenage sisters, (bitches being that talented at such a young age). Boy it was hot in the tent. Ebby had to go and meet James and Pally left before he melted but I just couldn’t move. The song universal soldier made me cry once again. Pally was still with me at that point but I think I managed to hide it before he realised what complete nut job I am. A little aside, Kev begins his trek back on Saturday and will be home on the 20th. Really thank fuck for that.

I got out of the impromptu sauna and found Pally waiting outside. Now the rest of Saturday is a bit of a blur as I was having a few food issues. I only had half a cider to drink but I felt like I was wasted. I know a lot of time passed when I told Pally some of my many issues, (shh don’t break the rules) whilst sat drinking tea in a double decker bus, now how much more English do you want to be!? Anyway, I think we saw Okkervil River and we definitely saw Fleet Foxes who were amazing. Then we went for a bit of a wander to the library in the woods and accidently happened upon an impromptu comedy set. Yay!! There were all sorts of goings on. Apparently the ‘twat’ factor was higher at EotR this year, it must be because I was there!

I slept really well Saturday night, so well in fact that when Ebby checked that I had actually got back to my tent at 6.30am by speaking to me and unzipping my tent I didn’t hear her, now that is really odd for me. James went home to pick up his boys and Ebby and I went to see Bear Driver followed by The Tallest Man on Earth, (Scanda love!!). I took a few snaps of the little Swedish dude and got a tap on the shoulder from a guy asking me to send the pics to him. He gave me his email address and then told Ebby how stunning he thought the Tallest man was. He was amazing and properly blew me away. Afterwards Justin asked us for a drink with his mates Ben and Sebastian. Sebastian had just met them too and was young whiper snapper who flattered me greatly by telling me I looked 25. Ooohh great. Not that I have an age obsession but Pally had also thought I was younger than my days. Whoop whoop. We drank and chatted nonsense then Justin who until this point I had assumed was gay decided he was going to sniff me, then suddenly all of them were sniffing me apart from Ebby she just licked me instead. How we managed to suddenly be having an afternoon of borderline debauchery I don’t know. Pally arrived and left quite quickly afterwards to see William Elliot Whitmore, (I really don’t blame him). Justin soon lost interest however when he found out I was married. Pally arrived back and Ebby thought we best leave to watch Steve Earle who was really good but not my bag at all.

Ebby left to meet up with James and we followed soon after. We had some booze and Pally told me his story, I won’t repeat as this not my place to do so but his suffering has been brought on by other people not just the world. I find it hard to understand stuff like that. I think I may have cried again. Jesus what’s wrong with me?! Oh yes that’ll be the grief finally coming out. We went to see the Hold Steady and saw the famous song before getting bored. We met up with Ebby and James to say goodbye before going in search of more booze and chatted more about stuff.

Next day I said goodbye to End of the Road and the lovely Pally before packing up my stuff and driving back in a half zombified state. I slept most of the afternoon and really well last night too. I’ve laughed and cried but for the first time in a long time I have done more of the former. Thank you Ebby, (and James) and thank you Pally, I felt like I had known you a million years. You probably don’t realise but I have begun to see the light again. The beauty in things the return of the proper Bimbo. I won’t dwell, I had to go through it to heal. I’ll always be me always be dark but that has to do with what life throws at you. That’s what makes me me.

*Bimbo may retract this offer at anytime without prior warning especially if the red nectar has been consumed.

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Brrrrr

Flipping chilly isn’t it? We could do with the cold lasting a couple of weeks to kill some of these stubborn cold bugs hanging around. I think I lowered my defences against them by going for a 7 mile run yesterday. I would normally start to feel warm after the first mile but the wind was so bitter I think it was about 4 miles before I started to feel a bit of a glow. I thought my face was going to fall off at one point. The things I do ey?

It was a fairly uneventful weekend, we nipped into town on Friday for a couple of drinks, (including Ghulwein at the Cardinals Hat, mmmm). Then had chips on the way home whilst watching the drunken idiots staggering around outside Tramps. It amazes me how chicks can still wear hot pants, a little skimpy top and no coat in this weather. I know the beer overcoat works to a certain extent but how come they don’t end up with big pink legs?! I would say that I used to be like that, but I NEVER was. I used to wear small tops but I always had stupidly baggy jeans on.

I went to the gym on Saturday then we headed over to my Aunt and Uncles. My uncle is now home, the hospice have bought him a bed over and put it in the front room. He seemed quite content although he is speaking less and less and what he is saying is mostly nonsense. He slept most of the time we were there so we watched the rugby, yay Wales you’re fabulous. We then drove home. We mostly listened to tunes on Saturday night whilst leaping around the kitchen, it’s something we do quite often taking it turns to select a tune from the pod then jumping around like twats. It’s a release of energy for me but Bob does it to make me laugh, especially when he does a ridiculous tap dancing routine to something like Enter Sandman by Metallica.

On Sunday I went for the aforementioned run out into the sticks through Broadheath and back via the Martley Road. I must get a thin hat to wear to stop me getting icecream head. Then we went up to the farm, it was even colder up there, the wind chill must have been about -5. I dumped myself in front of the Rayburn and refused to move. And that’s about it. I think I am now busy every weekend until Christmas what with going out and dinner parties. I also have a wedding to go to and my work Christmas do. For once I may try and saty sober at that, although this is exteremyl difficult as one of the chicks in accounts thinks I’m hilarious when I’m drunk and so tries her best to get me hammered for her own entertainment.

A weekend of Lego

This one is a bit late but never mind.
Last weekend myself, Bob, Dev Kp and Spex went down to see Ebby in Dorset. Bob and I were driving separately to Dev and KP, (for reasons I won’t go in to) so we decided to have an 80 days around the world style race. I was taking a tram whist Dev decided he would go by paddle steamer. My tram, (cunningly disguised as a Peugeot 206) won so Dev now owes me £20,000.

Anyway, on Friday evening we mostly got a bit tiddley and talked loads of rubbish, as usual. We met Jed the lurcher who is very old but very cool. I love dogs. In the morning we met Ebbys boys, they are lovely. I think I am the same mental age as Rowan who is 4. We had a bit of a chat about the spotty plane on the TV. Then the other boys, (the ones over the age of 25) decided they would play with lego. Lego is great and seems to be a fabulous appeaser, it doesn’t matter how cross you are if lego is placed in front of you all the worries in the world just evaporate. Maybe it could be used in peace negotiations in the middle east, they would be far more successful.

The older boys got a sort of production line going, Bob and Dev took it in turns to be foreman of the build of a security van, which meant they got to hold the instruction booklet and bark out instructions to the subordinates. Anyway, they busied themselves with this and I sort of just freestyled trying to make really obscure structures. I missed out on lego as it is supposedly a boys toy. I used to go to my cousin Lees house and play with his instead. IF, I ever have kids, and I can’t emphasise how big that IF is, and I have a little girl she will get lego to play with if she wants, I suspect she will have to fight her dad for it though. The security van was completed. In the mean time the boys’ dad had come to pick them up and take them to the cinema so we were child free and all legoed out. What could we possibly do? We went to a place called Stourhead and went for a little walk in the woods to a place called Alfreds Tower, Dev collects towers so he was very excited. I was excited as I got to see a water wheel almost immediately, yay!!!

We wandered into the woods and saw the sign saying it was 2 miles, so 4 miles there and back, just what we needed after a few bevies the night before. Off we toddled past a lovely autumnal scene of a still lake surrounded by trees with copper coloured leaves slowly dropping into the water. We came to a place where lots of clearing had been done and on either side there were big stands of evergreens. Within the evergreens we noticed a bit of a den that had been built. We all got quite excited and had to stand in it. We walked on a bit further only to discover there were loads of these dens built, some of them were quite technical and had working doors and bits of furniture inside. I’m sure they were more well built than my house is. After this we carried on to the tower and larked around there for a bit, unfortunately we couldn’t climb it as it was closed until March.

So we went back towards the main grounds of Stourhead to have a look at a folly that Mr D’arcy stood in in Pride and Prejudice. Well at least that’s where we though we were going. What we actually did was walk in completely the wrong direction and get completely lost. After wandering around the muddy paths for a couple for hours we sort of understood where we were but didn’t know how to get back to where we wanted to be. We found a really steep path heading in vaguely the correct direction and walked up it and found ourselves back very close to tower itself, arrrghhh, it’s like Blair Witch. We retraced our steps and found our way back. So we reckon it must have been a 10 mile walk instead of a 4 mile one. Ahh well at least we had worn off some of the booze consumed. We took a well deserved sit down and had a hot drink sat out in the drizzle, we had Jed the dog with us so couldn’t go inside.

Off we went back to Ebbys and decided it was time for Trivial Pursuit. It all got a bit tense as Dev was unhappy about having the least amount of cheeses at one point. Then the boys came back and diffused the situation. Rowan decided he wanted to play too, I think he ended up winning. Later on we went out for some food at a pub and I did my usual thing of over ordering. When will I ever learn I can only eat a main course?! We talked some more rubbish, I can’t really remember what about. (That’ll teach me for not writing this blog sooner) We then went to a bar called Charlies, there was a nice bitch fight going on outside as we arrived which reminded me of home, (Hereford). The dialogue went something along these lines

“ oy what d’you jus say about my mover. She’s myyy facking movvvvveeerr you faking bitch”

We didn’t wait to hear the faking bitches response but I bet it was equally as eloquent. We had a couple more drinkies and everyone was very chilled after the expedition earlier. We then met a chap who seemed to think he was Usher, he demonstrated that he was by doing a sort of driving mime for us. It was fabulous and I do agree that he was indeed Usher, there’s just no disputing it. At a couple of points throughout the evening Ebby disappeared, she was discovered behind the bar pouring pints, well whatever turns you on. We were all invited to a club afterwards, I can’t remember the name of it but apparently it’s on an industrial estate. We made an executive decision that it wouldn’t be worth the entrance fee as we were all pretty tired, so we meandered home to watch father Ted.

Next morning we lounged around for a bit before heading off our separate ways. Dev and KP went to monkey world, I wanted to go too but we really had to get back, boo hiss.

Bank Holidaying

Oops I’m a bit late with this one.

Ahh bank Holidays how I love them, especially the confusion caused by the extra day off. On Monday I thought it was Sunday and was wondering why the chart show wasn’t on the radio on my drive home. Today I think it’s Wednesday so will probably be very confused all day.

On Friday Spex came up from Pompey and I cooked us a curry. Bob worked late so we headed out without him to the Dragon in the Tything. We chatted away about girls for a good half hour before KP and Dev arrived, stupid conversations ensued as they always do. Then eventually Bob arrived. We then wandered into town and went to Hero’s for a quick one before coming home via the chip shop. There were no stupid drunken idiots outside Tramps which our usual entertainment whilst eating out chips so we walked home.

Next day we all became experts in Taekwondo when Sarah Stevenson lost her bout in the quarter finals even though she blatantly kicked that bird in the face. We were gripped as some Swiss guy in a blue blazer announced to the world, (in English) that actually the Chinese chick hadn’t won and Sarah had so she would be in the semi final. It then took a good 20 minutes before they decided to announce the news in Chinese literally seconds before Sarah and her opponent walked on. Terrible timing, the majority Chinese crowd basically turned on Sarah even though it was the referee and judges fault. Well she lost but went on to win a bronze so well done.

After that excitement we decided we better give the Olympics a rest or we may just explode with the excitement. Spex went off to meet Dev to go for a bike ride and I went for a 10km run. Then Bob and I packed our stuff up drove to the train station to pick up Mikey before driving up to Cleobury Mortimer for Sam’s 30th birthday barbeque bonanza. It was like a mini festival with the PWEI tent putting in an appearance. This is an ex military tent that sleeps 17 that Bob, Sam, Ben, Gaz and Danny all own between them. It used to get taken to festivals with them back in the day to be used as their living room. The little paintings on the side of then tent are a complete time capsule with Chef from South Park, Bart Simpson and PWEI, (Pop will eat itself). It is amazing how many people who didn’t know any of the lads back then remember the tent from Reading and Glasto. Anyway the barbequing and cider drinking started and so did the tunes. Gradually more people arrived and there was more demand for food. Danny and I took our normal roles behind the Bbq, him bantering with the people and myself making sure stuff was cooked. We stayed there most of the evening re laying the BBQ about 3 times.

At about midnight Ben, Jen, myself, Bob and Parkers parents went back to chez Parker to have a cup of tea then talk some random rubbish. Everyone went to bed apart form Bob, myself and Steve Parker, Chris then arrive home too and we all retired to bed. The next morning Mrs Parker cooked us nice breakfast then Bob and I said our goodbyes before shooting off to meet Spex, KP and Dev at the cricket. Worcester against Durham. It was pants. As we watched we noticed a steady stream of people crossing on front of us carrying trays of tea and cake. I’m not a big fan of cake but the others were getting very excited about the prospect of cake so KP and I were sent in search of the source. We had a bit of a wander around but couldn’t find where the cake was coming from so I asked a guy in a high viz vest. He just said “cake? what sort of cake? where did they get it from?” No mate that’s what I asked you. Another chap overheard the con flab and pointed us in the direction of the ladies enclosure, (that sounds really rude to me). On our way we discovered you had to be a member to enter the ladies enclosure even for cake buying purposes. I accused some official of being non memberist and walked off. So we returned cakeless and everyone was very upset including the comedy brummies who were sat in front of us.

Anyway that aside, Worcester were atrocious but I didn’t desert the sinking ship. I stayed until then end unlike a lot of the other spectators. The Brummies shouted at the leavers about deserting and they should be shot. They also shouted at the oldies saying it was the quickest they had seen them move all day. Worcester lost by 8 wickets, that was £16 well spent. We wandered into the town and went to Pizza express to drown our sorrows before Dev drove us all to the Crown at Hallow where Bob and I had a drink before walking home. Bob had to be up early to go to work so wasn’t in the mood for a late one.

Next day I drove over to my folks place then we went to Weobley’s annual Art exhibition at the village hall where we met my aunty, uncle and my cousin Kev and his lady Olwyn. I hadn’t seen my uncle for a few weeks, he looked less than good. I didn’t think it was possible for him to lose any more weight but he has and has now turned a strange greyish colour. He wasn’t very comfortable in the village hall so went out and sat in the car. After a bit I took him back to my parents whilst Kev, Ollie and Margaret went to the churchyard to visit Steve. Now his mind is still with it and his sense of humour beams through sometimes but he just looks so sad. Like a person would I suppose if they know they are dying. I do wonder what he must be thinking. It’s so different the way it has taken him compared to Steve. Steve was terminally ill but not really showing any signs of it until about 6 weeks before he went. Then the pressure building in his head as his tumour grew started to push on parts of his brain and make his reactions slower. He stopped talking and sometimes would just stare through you as if there was no recognition. When he went to the hospice this just became the normal behaviour, until the last night I saw him awake. I was just off home and had been talking to him about the football. Liverpool had been playing really well in the UEFA cup and in the Worthless cup. Anyway I got up to go home, turned gave him a hug and waved, he started at me blankly but his hand went up and he waved back. This was the first time I had a response from him for days. Next morning when I got there he was unconscious and 3 days later he died. Comparatively Roy has been ill for so long and because it is ever part of him apart form his brain that is affected he is just in pain. The brain can only take a certain amount before it shuts down and you become unconscious, well actually that could have been the huge amounts of morphine.

Anyway they all came back from the churchyard and we had a nice dinner and then they all disappeared off home. Kev and Ollie went back to Northern Ireland that evening. I will just mention that my cousin Kev is sort of my surrogate brother, well even before my actual brother died we had been close. Probably because I had a bit more in common with Kev, he is the only one in the entire family that looks remotely like me. He is always there for me and I know that but I suspect I am going to have to be there for him in the very near future.

Nearly there

I am so glad it’s Friday. It has been a little hectic at work, and I suspect this will continue. I have no plans for the weekend at all. Bob will probably be working but if he isn’t he will be going to help his dad vaccinate the sheep against Blue Tongue as Herefordshire and Shropshire have now been put into the surveillance zone. If he goes to the farm I’ll probably go with him and might do a little run around the fields.

I want to suggest to Bob’s dad that he lets me grow some vines in one of the fields. The soil is certainly poor enough but whether the lower down fields are sheltered enough from the crazy wind that blows around the hill is another matter. Of course it will have to be colder weather grapes, so white wine, maybe Riesling. Seyval Blanc is the most popularly planted one but I like to be different. I best look into it.

Tide stopped play

I’ve had a most enjoyable weekend. Let me tell you about it.
On Friday evening Dev and KP turned up to pick us up and take us down to Portsmouth to see Spex. Off we toddled down the various motorways southwards. There were a couple of rather hairy moments. I think it is safe to say that Dev should not eat crisps while driving as he seems to get the packet stuck on his hand and whilst trying to remove it tends to leave the lane he is driving in. We got there nice and quick and without any wrong turns, well ok one but that was my fault telling Dev to turn into the road before Spex estate. We arrived at the executive penthouse apartment, (which is stunningly similar to a top floor flat) at about 7.30. It seemed rude not to start on the vino. So we sat gossiping and catching up whilst marvelling at the stupidly large TV in Spex front room. 42 inches apparently. It is such a boys flat, they have a 42 inch TV and no curtains! Anyway, what was supposed to be an early night didn’t happen but never mind. We popped up to thier ‘local’. The George, which aint that local but is the closest decent pub. Everyone moaned about the walk but as I hadn’t bean for my Friday evening run I felt quite energetic. We were all up bright and early, (maybe due to the lack of curtains) and Spex knocked us up some tasty bacon sarnies. Then we played the shower game, which unfortunately isn’t as dirty as it sounds. It involves taking advantage of Spex and Jims, (Spex flat mate) ridiculously expensive sound system installed in the flat. Basically you can turn speakers on in any room and play music or the TV or whatever through them and as the controls for the bathroom speakers are on the outside when you are in the shower you are at the complete mercy of whoever is joyously torturing you. Jim has some awful CDs so I was forced to listen to James Blunt followed by the Ordinary Boys, yuk! Bob got some cheesy pop off a Now That’s What I call Music album. We made Spex listen to Celine Dion very loudly. Whilst we were all bustleing around getting ready to leave Spex accidently tripped over his own jeans and fell over the back of the sofa rolling dramatically onto the floor. I think I was the only one that noticed but it made me titter somewhat.

After the shower game we headed off to Hayling Island to play beach cricket. It was just such a stunning day. We found a nice empty bit of beach and the cricket ensued. Unfortunately as the sea made up the entire southern border of the wicket it was always going to be an interesting game. Especially as Bob is left handed and had to fight the natural urge to wallop the ball into the sea. But still it happened a number of times, we had to keep using the bat to rescue the ball from the waves. That, as well as fending off the dogs that were very interested in our cricket ball. Oh and all of this going on whilst the tide was coming in. It was just a bit British we weren’t going to let a little thing like the English Channel slowly creeping up on us stop out little game. Spex even went as far as building some informal sea defences when he was into bat. Unfortunately these filled up with water at one point and he ended up stamping in the small retention pond he had constructed soaking his foot and missing the ball. Then one time Dev was into bat, Bob bowled a sneaky little ball which bowled Dev out and the sea promptly engulfed the wicket and attempted to carry the stumps out to sea, (as well as Dev). We managed to rescue them though but tide most definitely stopped play.

We went to a nice pub up the road overlooking the sea, (The Ferry Boat Inn, I am informed) and had some lunch. Everybody was very sleepy after the exertions and the sea air, (not to mention last nights booze) so off we toddled back to the executive penthouse apartment to watch Wales beat Scotland in the rugby, (yay!!) and various bits of football on the silly amount of sports channels that you find come with boys flats. We all had a bit of a chill out, talked some absolute nonsense before getting ready for the main event. The oddest convesation of the whole weekend came when we weren’t even drunk. KP announced that there was a place in Canada that had less gravity than any where else on Earth. We did various impressions of what it would be like with too much or too little gravity before deciding it was time we left.

Off we all went into Pompey for a nice drinky before going to the Wedgewood Rooms. I’ve never been to the Wedgewood Rooms before but I think I could possibly get them on trades description. There is only one room really, (unless you count the bogs as an extra one). It is a nice size venue with the obligatory sticky floor, I have a new theory about sticky floors/carpets. I think the floors are deliberately not cleaned and the alcohol etc left to fester to get the nice sticky finish as it helps people remain standing after they have had a couple of drinks. There was a band called Condition on first, they had just been on tour with Paramore. They were rather good, we had a some booze and then watched ‘You me at six’ They were good too but a bit full of themselves, probably as they were about 16 and were just sooo cool with there stupid fringes. Then New Found Glory, now they were excellent. I had only heard a couple of their tunes before but they most definitely ROCKED and I had a little bit of a bop. We then swarmed out of the pub and went to a nice bar. We were all a bit tiddly by this point and ended up arguing about music. Not that this is specifically a drunk thing we do. As I said the next day we could all class our taste in music as Indie/alternative but it is such a huge genre we are never likely to agree on much. We all did agree theta New Found Glory had been very good though. The drunkenness also lead to some extreme sweeping statements in the taxi on the way home too. Mostly about women not being able to do comedy, and sing punk. I disagree as women can do comedy, Jo Brand being an example as far as I’m concerned. And as for punk, well nobody can really sing punk as it is more about the expression in you voice. There are very few examples of proper female punk singers anyway, I think as it doesn’t normally appeal to them as a genre. Siouxie Sioux being the obviously exception. The random statements and heated debates continued for a while and then we went to sleep.

Next day more bacon sarnies and then off into Pompey again to go up the Spinnaker Tower. There is great view from the top and one of those crazy glass floors you can walk on. We then did a spot of shopping before going to a Mexican restaurant and embarrassing Bob by asking for a balloon for him, as it was his birthday tomorrow. Well along came a whole bunch of balloons, which got tied to his chair. KP and I took a balloon each and wandered back to the car with them blowing crazily around behind us and hitting people in the face. Off back to the executive penthouse apartment to watch the end of the rugby and then we went home. It was an enjoyable weekend but I am still rather sleepy from the excerptions. I really am getting too old to go to gigs.