For those of you that follow me on Twitter or are unfortunate enough to be my friend, (on Facebook or otherwise) you may have noticed a resurgence in my indignant rage. It’s like someone switched a switch in my head and I’m back to being an angry outspoken borderline feminist. I haven’t felt like this in 4 years. Expect new blogs full of rage (against the machine). Or maybe I’ll keep it to Twitter and FB.
That indignant rage has returned. I think I have a good reason to be cross along with every other respectable person resident in this country. If you are easily shocked please don’t continue as my language in this blog is of the potty mouthed variety.
I am absolutely sickened by what is going on in our city centres. Mindless thuggish children seem to have taken over the streets and claimed them as their own including the contents of shops, houses and cars. What started off as a protest against the shooting of a chap by police in Tottenham, (which I’m not going to go into as I don’t know the details and don’t actually see how anyone else can either) has escalated into stupid twatish behaviour. I think one of the reasons the authorities are struggling to gain control again is because of the problems our welfare state causes. I don’t want this to be some post about ‘nanny state’ Britain and I know that is a strange conclusion to come up with but let’s think about it. I imagine the majority of people involved have never actually been held accountable for their actions. Our welfare state means that people don’t have to have any respect for each other. If people don’t want to work then they don’t have to because the state will support them. I am a fan of the welfare state I will point out at this point, it is a safety net for people who find themselves in a spot of bother but it is being abused!!!!These undesirables therefore will never learn respect for authority as they will never have to be nice to a boss. So they think they can do whatever they want and in fact will go out of their way to show the rest of the country how much they really don’t care about other people’s property or how other people think they should behave. I’m not a violent person, (aggressive yes but certainly not violent) but I believe that force may actually be the only thing that this underclass that’s erupted to the surface in this country will respond to.
So this is what they do, they use an excuse to break windows, loot shops, set fire to cars and buildings and just generally behaving like mindless cuntish bastards. What really upsets me is that they think what they are doing is something to boast about. I watched a shop burn live on BBC News last night, the shop happened to have a flat above it. The fire spread to the buildings on either side, both with flats above them. The helicopter shooting the footage moved around to the back of the buildings and showed residents climbing out of their windows with a few scant possessions and climbing across the rooves to open the windows of the burning buildings to shout in to see if anybody remained. It’s not just mindless looting, these are people’s lives, their homes…and these aren’t affluent areas. It may only be a little flat above a shop to a casual observer but it is a fucking palace to some, an Englishman’s home is his castle at the end of the day. Not to mention the risk to life, the photo taken last night in silhouette against a burning building of a woman leaping for her life out of a first story window to the awaiting fire fighters below shows the human tragedy involved here. It looks like a shot from the freaking blitz but our own countrymen/women have done this to us. Where is your respect for your fellow man?!
I suggested to some friends earlier that we needed to rise up and re take the streets for the normal person which randomly seems to have happened in quite a few places, (I’m sure not because of my random rantings). People have taken to the streets with brooms to tidy up to show that the majority of residents in the affected areas will not be intimidated and they will have civic pride despite what is going on. This has restored my faith to a certain degree but the fact that it has been shown that there are so many heartless, selfish bastards living in this country has damaged my view irrevocable.
Do you think if I just launch straight into a blog nobody will notice that I have been absent for a number of months.? I’m going to give it a try so sssshhh don’t draw attention to me. (Bimbo slowly opens the door and squeezes herself quietly into her blog)
My musical taste is getting more diverse I think. I’m getting more and more into alternative folk but then again it has been more in the public eye recently what with the likes of Mumford and Sons and Fleet Foxes wandering about with their waistcoats and braces on. I’m not a massive fan of the aforementioned but they’re ok. Mumford and Sons have a couple of really good tunes and one of Fleet Foxes song is really tremendous…when sang by First Aid Kit. Bob absolutely detests Mumford and Sons and he is backed up by Neil and KP. The word urchin and mass produced has been bandied around….
I think an effect of listening to more folk has meant that I have been downloading more ‘hard rock’ to offset it. A couple of days ago I downloaded a few Bellowhead tracks after watching their set at Glasto and straight after also downloaded some Pantera and Magadeath. It’s almost like my Itunes has a balance of power fight going on. Maybe the Folk could form an alliance with the Post Punk and General Alternative to try and snatch power from Rock. It’s unlikely to succeed.
Anyway, the reason I decided to write this blog was a little seed Spex put in my head a couple of weeks ago by mentioning Waltz’s. How many Waltz’s do I have on my Itunes? Without listening to my entire music library I guess I shall never know but let’s go for the more obvious ones first, (like the word Waltz in the title!!)
Owl Waltz by Seabear
Waltz #2 by Elliot Smith
Waltz for Richard by First Aid Kit
Waltz for Lumumba by Spencer Davis Group, (this is a very fast Waltz!)
Right that might be it for the easy ones but some more that spring to mind.
Blackout by Muse, (this is actually the song that started my mind ticking ages ago if I’m honest. Bob has seen me Waltz around the kitchen to this tune on numerous occasions. )
Crown of Love Arcade Fire
Iris the Goo Goo Dolls.
Subterranean Homesick Alien by Radiohead
Where did you sleep last night Nirvana.
Flightless Bird American Mouth, (once again very obviously a Waltz). Iron and Wine
My name is Jonas, Weezer.
Nothing Else Matter, Metallica.
Now I am sure there are lots more lurking in my itunes library and I may add to this list in the future.
Let me tell you a story….it’s about a song, a song which I think may have changed my life. That’s a very powerful statement and of course I have no proof or indeed any way of obtaining any proof unless someone wants to clone me, erase the memory of the aforementioned song from my head then create another identical universe as well as a time machine to drop the clone back off to September 2009 and see if the clones life turns out differently to mine. No? Well ssshhh then.
I may have mentioned it before, in fact yes I have in my blog about End of the Road Festival 2009.
Ebby and I went to watch a band called The Low Anthem at EotR 2009. I had heard of them before but I can’t say I knew any of their tunes. We stood there in the bright warm sunshine, incidentley the only really nice weather we had had all that Summer and this was the second weekend in September so it really did feel sort of special. Just to go immediately go off on a tangent, (you’d expect nothing else) I haven’t mentioned it before but my memories of that year and the early part of 2010 are quite hazy. I was just sort of ‘acting’ at life. Doing what I thought I should be doing and occasionally getting drunk and talking about death with some very understanding friends. Anyway, I digress, (as always).. I will forever remember the moment I first heard the Low Anthem live. This hideously melancholic beat started to sound and the lead singer sang a song in an incredibly low whispering voice which to me felt like everyone else had just disappeared and he was singing to me..about me and the ridiculously dark person I was at the point in my life. What little emotion I showed outwardly came bubbling to the surface and I started to silently cry which I have certainly never done at a gig before. As the song finished Ebby hugged me and whispered to me that the song was written for me.
The unknowining tumour is fixing its home in the damp bed of the catacomb
As the raging war on the high wire unfolds she buries her teeth in the flesh.
After an incredibly emotional set that also had Ebby in tears I think we may have wandered off and found some booze. I think I can pinpoint this moment in time as when I first began to see the world through less grief stricken eyes, it really is amazing what a song can do.
When I came home from EotR 2009 I tried to find the song… I could only remember the above lyric. I searched on the net and found it hadn’t even been recorded let alone released yet. I found a version on youtube Here (apolgies for the awful sound quality) eventually that I used to listen to when I needed the hit of emotion, not always melancholic as the song eventually made me smile.
I went to End of the Road 2010 and it just so happened that the Low Anthem played again. Ebby and I got near the front and the band start to tell a little story about the song they were about to sing. They were sat in their tour bus at End of the Road 2009 waiting to come on and do their set when they penned a song that they were quite pleased with so sang it straight away when they got on stage whilst it was still fresh in their memories. It was obviously Smart Flesh which was the song that moved me…they sang it for me again but it had evolved. No longer so stupidly dark and melancholy, it had moved with me to a lighter brighter tune, still fraught with emotion but bearable and after it finished I had a huge grin on my face.
It’s just been released on their new Album which has been named after my song ‘Smart Flesh’. Listen to it..it may not move you and you may find it dull like Bob does but that little song….my song will stay with me forever as reminder of who I was for about 18 months of my life, a shell of a person who wouldn’t have survived without good friends and an unbelievable husband. To quote another band “together we’re invincible”
You know it took me a while to remember my log in details!
I think I may be blogging again properly soon. Things are beginning to feel normal. I obviously haven’t been in the deepest darkest depth of emoitus recently but there’s been something missing from me. I didn’t really know what it was until the other day when I got incredibly cross about something and realised that was exactly it. I hadn’t felt indignant rage about something for over 18 months. I used to get cross and I mean really cross about stuff all the time as some of my old blogs prove. The subjects were very wide ranging from injustice in the world, the weather and climate change oh and several peoples favourite..my rant at Sarah Palin for berating our NHS Part 1 and part 2.
In this case it was a comment from a member of my family who should know better that riled me. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back really after suffering his little comments for years and occasionally telling him to shut up. But then there were a few too many remarks over Christmas about how myself and my friends should behave including some homophobic comments. I know he wouldn’t consider himself homophobic at all but I believe it is so stupidly ingrained in him because of what he does for a living that he thinks what he spouts isn’t offensive. Anyway the comment towards me was a response to some sarcastic comment I made. Apparently sarcasm isn’t pretty….It seems innocuous enough looking back but when antecedent remarks are taken into account coupled with the fact I was tired I just sort of snapped..
Fuck you!! To start with I don’t give a shit if that were the case and secondly and most importantly why the hell should it matter?! Are ladies just put on this earth to look pretty?! Visual stimuli for twats like you? Perhaps some men like a chick to have some edge, some sass and not just be some vacuous ornament. I thought better of you considering your lovely lady.
As I mentioned via my Facebook status I have worked my ass off my entire life to get where I am today and occasionally I feel incredibly proud of my own achievements. I’m not a stupidly intelligent person. I didn’t have pushy parents in the slightest but just the incredible force that was my mother beaming her stoicism from her very core, (and you should know that too as she protected your mother from some of the horrors of the world) and my dad..bless my dad..he never pushed but I knew whatever I decided I wanted to do in life he was there. Oh and let’s not forget your dad either…he really did tell me I could achieve whatever I wanted in the world.
And one comment from you dismissed all of that and made me feel like some stupid little girl. I still love you to bits, (and I think that’s why it has upset me so much)…but you have a lot to learn. And one more homophobic comment and I will punch you.
Hell might freeze over later and I might actually write a full blown blog post….I could do with some pics first though which i will have to steal from someone else……….
It’s amazing what influences my decision to write again. I haven’t had a good day today. I shan’t elaborate too much as I really don’t know what is happening. All I will say is that I am sending the strongest healing vibes I can muster. Please sweetie feel better.