Archive for April, 2010

Bit of poilitics

Posted in Uncategorized on 11/04/2010 by bimbo78

I just can’t seem to get any sort of interest worked up inside me about the forthcoming election. As far as I’m concerned the most recent escapades, (although gracefully as ever shoved down our throats by the beautiful British press) of our glorious leaders have shown their true colours. Not all of them obviously but there seem to be so many rotten apples that it is a wonder that the whistle wasn’t blown a lot sooner when it came to the expenses scandal. I do hate our need in this country to know everything about any ‘celebrity’ or anybody remotely famous. A desire in a great deal of Brits that is fanned by the awful trashy publications which traipse after media sluts such as Kerry Katona and Jordan who have no discernable talent but somehow manage to cling to fame. Anyway, I am digressing as ever, my point is we have been bombarded with tales of politicians for so long with scandals about affairs and dubious activities. Really it has nothing to do with us as long as it doesn’t effect their ability to do their jobs. However, the expenses, oh my goodness. You come across all high and mighty, berating benefit thieves etc when what you have done is far far worse. You are in a position of power, charged with running the country. We pay your sodding wages and this is what you do you bunch of common criminals.

The issues seem to have effected all parties but undoubtedly the mudslinging has started in earnest. How about for a change you apologise for your inadequacies and promise, and I mean really promise that it WILL NOT happen again. Then tell us your polices instead of picking holes in the oppositions ideas and squabbling like children. This is why there is voter apathy, we’re fed up of hearing you whinge and whine about what the other side is doing, tell us what YOU are going to do and allow us to make an informed judgement. Possible? I doubt it.

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Jurrassic Coast: Rocks and Rowdiness.

Posted in Drunkeness, weekends on 09/04/2010 by bimbo78

This all happened a few weeks ago but as I have been less than efficient with my blog updates recently I have decided, (with a little prompting) that now is a good time to write about my little trip to Dorset.
On a Friday a few weeks ago I finished work early and drove little Oskar to Malvern to collect Neil KP. It was the first time I had been to their new abode so spent some time poking about admiring their iron mouse and basement, (as well as the rest of the rooms obviously) in their lovely Victorian house. I do have a bit of a thing about Victorian houses, the lovely red bricks and the feeling of security that you get knowing that they over engineered and over built everything they touched. The new fledgling field of building with bricks ensured that, hence why they are still standing over 100 years later. And will no doubt last at least another 100 easily. Anyway, I digress as usual.

We squeezed ourselves back into Oskar and set off southwards avoiding the motorways completely. The snow damaged roads played havoc with our progress, little Oskar fell in a few pot holes but we managed to get him out again. We arrived at Ebbys to baked potatoes and vino, mmmmmmmm. Anyway, we soon got absolutely hammered. I’m not sure what happened. One moment we were all fine the next we weren’t myself and KP in particular. It may have had something to do with the JD being opened. Then we had a bit of an emotional time, I do apologise for the tears. I know most of my friends have never seen me cry, believe me I don’t make a habit of it but after KP saying such utterly beautiful things to me I saw no option. Thank you KP and thank you Ebby and Neil for dealing with us.

Next day I arose bright and early to find Ebby already pottering about. James had a bike race organised so he was bustling about the place organising things. After a very leisurely breakfast we decided we needed to get out so we piled into Ebbys car and headed to the coast. I snoozed most of the way there until I heard a conversation about rivers whilst barely conscious. Neil had mentioned Stourhead being on the Stour but it not being the same Stour as that in the West Midlands. My eyes fluttered open very briefly, “there’s loads of Stours” and I went back to sleep. I have been berated for talking about rivers in my sleep because of this.

We arrived at the Lulworth Cove car park and headed up the steep hill towards the Durdle Dor. I’ve never been to the Jurassic Coast which is indeed a travesty given my favoured subjects at School, College, Uni etc…..I used to love a bit of coastal morphology and can indeed still remember the mnemonic to signify the rock formation of the coast. It’s ‘Silly Farmers Sons Piddle Down Drains’. I can’t actually remember what each letter stands for though so as a mnemonic it actually hasn’t worked but it was from my A’Level studies, (13 years ago!!). I imagine the P stands for Portland Limestone. I shall look the rest up now to satisfy my own curiosity. …Right after getting completely distracted by looking up the geology I’m afraid I have failed. I shall have to come back to this later.

We sat on the beach looking up at the Dor which really is a stunning natural Arch. I started to rummage about on the beach picking up bits of shiny flint and orange quartzite. Neil got upset that everyone else had found interesting pebbles and started to rummage about himself.

As we wandered back along the cliffs in the early spring sunshine we noticed we were hearing snippets of other peoples conversation as they passed us. Myself, KP and Neil recounted the tail to Ebby of a little trip to the supermarket on our way to ATP in Minehead. 2 guys walked past us and all we heard was “and she was so mangled they could only identify her from the serial number on her breast implants”
We decided to have some fun…two people were walking towards us and just as they wandered by Neil quoted one of Bob’s favourite sayings
“of course Bob doesn’t call it a genocide, it’s population realignment”
Hee hee how juvenile.
Other gems include:
“and we found the best lubricant to be jam”
“but they’ll never find the body”
“did I tell you about the time I licked princess Anne’s face”
“so there was no option but to saw off her hands”
“apparently it’s only murder if it was premeditated”
And as a salute to the lads we overheard in the supermarket that inspired this game
“and they could only identify his body by the serial number in his penile extension”

It certainly made the post hangover walk back to the pub go by much quicker, I was however shocked to discover when we arrived back at the car park that there was not a police car waiting to cart us away for murdering someone, cutting her hands off and burying her before maybe covering her in jam. A well deserved lunch ensued at a lovely little pub which had the dizziest barmaid on earth. She had obviously only just started doing the job but she was so awful she was funny. We devoured our lunch before strolling down towards Lulworth Cove, on the way KP took a photograph of another man’s cock, hee hee. We had a quick look at Lulworth Cove, oooh lovely dipping strata before getting rather chilly in the early spring chilly wind. Brrrr. We piled back into the car and I immediately fell asleep. I briefly awoke at tittering as a van in front of us clipped a hedge and my mischievous friends decided they were going to call the phone number that was advertised on the back of the van to tell the driver to look out for the hedge. Then more snooooooozzzzzzing.

We had a very chilled out evening. Feasting on yet more food mmmm. I snoozed some more before retiring to bed. Next day Ebby and James had to go and help her gran move house so we said our goodbyes before squeezing back into Oskar and driving back northwards. We stopped at a place called Lacock. It’s a lovely old village which is owned by the National Trust. It’s been used in loads of films and TV series as it is very unspoilt.

We went into Lacock Abbey which used to be a monastery until Henry VIII had other plans. He did his disillusioning and gave it to a dude called Sharington and in more recent year it past to Fox Talbot the guy who sort of invented photography. The ground floor is pretty much untouched and very much feels like a monastery. We wandered down the initial cloister and I had a bit of a moment. It reminded me of something, sure enough at the end of the cloister was cardboard cut out advertising Harry Potter, it was used in the first 2 films as Hogwarts. I then looked back down the cloister and had the image of the beautiful Alan Rickman gracefully striding down the corridor with his cloak billowing behind him as he played the bat of the dungeons. Mmmmm. I later found out that Lacock village itself had been the setting for Professor Slughorns house in the Half Blood Price and also Godrics Hollow where Harry was born. After I got over my accidental pilgrimage we went upstairs and saw the grand but homely rooms.

We continued our journey and nipped into Cirenester to have some lunch which was in the form of a very nice pie and mash. I dropped off the Malvernians before heading home and chilling.

Lovely lovely lovely.